Wednesday, October 5, 2011

6 Million Dollar Sasquatch

I was trying to explain to a younger friend exactly how cool the Six Million Dollar Man was the other day. Here's the basic conversation.

Me: The Bionic Man was named Steve Austin.

Him: Like the wrestler.

Me: He was hurt in some kind of accident. He was like an astronaut or something and they had to give him bionic limbs and a bionic eye. Actually he's the six million dollar man, not the bionic man. It was The Bionic Woman.

Him: She probably cost more than that.

Me: She was a school teacher; I don't know why they picked a school teacher. She was in an car accident I think.

Him: You think they would have picked an astronaut or something.

Me: I guess it was the 70's. Woman were only allowed to teach school or be receptionists or secretaries back then. (I was kidding, mostly. But I was trying to be funny, not an asshole. I'm naturally and asshole but I have to try to be funny.) She didn't have a bionic eye; she had a bionic ear. You could always tell it was working because she would brush her hair back behind her ear, I think there was a switch behind it to turn it on. Oh and there was a bionic dog named Maximillion.

Him: Really?

Me: And a bionic Sasquatch, I think the Soviets made the bionic Sasquatch. It was the Cold War and all.

Him: Now you're just making this shit up....

I shit you not.

It's hard to believe that all that awesome is all but forgotten.

1 comment:

  1. Omg, this made me howl. Lindsey Wagner actually looks a bit like Linda Hamilton in that photo. So much awesome. Also, Chris concurs that the Fembots were "the scariest thing ever put on television." So there you have it, kids. Nothing compares. Well, this comes close: